Chapter Two

Beth Anne squeezed her eyes shut. She didn’t want to wake up, didn’t want to leave the dream that made her feel close to Luke. I can almost feel the warmth of his skin, the brush of his beard against my cheek. Almost.

“Mrs. Hain,” a voice called.

She clenched her fist against the throb in her leg, careful not to reach too low. The pain made it easy to pretend the leg was still there as long as she didn’t touch the stump. Stump. Whoever thought of calling a part of the human body a stump? She envisioned the enormous trees above Huckleberry Campground that had been cut down in the prime of their lives. Oldtimers talked about folks dancing on the tops of them. They were that big. Trees should have stumps, not people.

The clatter of trays and smell of cooked food told her it was lunchtime. Silence, she thought. What I wouldn’t give for silence and the smell of ponderosa pine. And the feel of leather and horseflesh. She grabbed at the dream, trying to get it back.

“I know you’re awake.”

She recognized the voice. It held the sound of musical laughter as if coming from a person whose entire purpose in life was to discover a joke in every situation. But there’s no joke in losing a leg. And now the chemo.

“You could just tell me to go away. I can take a hint.”

Beth Anne sighed and opened her eyes. “Molly.”

“At your service.”

The girl’s face looked young and innocent with her pale blue eyes and blonde mass of impossibly curly hair, but Beth Anne wasn’t so sure her mission was so innocent. Molly was a good therapist and a great help, but trouble lurked behind those laughing eyes. “You don’t have to wait on me like this.”

“I know. But I’m grateful you’re letting me come home with you, and how else could I get the opportunity to live on an Oregon ranch and own a horse?”

“I’m sure you can find better ways.”

Molly lowered the serving table and started opening cartons and packages. First, the tiny packet of pepper, then the orange juice. Beth Anne placed her own hand over the girl’s. “Stop.”

Molly pulled back. “No problem, Mrs. Hain.”

“And stop calling me that.”

“What?”

“Mrs. Hain.”

“But that’s your name.”

“You make me feel old. Call me Beth Anne.”

“On one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You give me your ice cream.”

A strained chuckle stuck in Beth Anne’s throat. “Okay. You’ve got a deal.”

“And what about our other deal? Do I have that too?”

Beth Anne knew what she meant. The secret. Am I willing to keep the secret? She wanted to say no, to hold the satisfaction of watching the girl sweat just a bit more, but giving into such a response would only make matters worse for everyone involved, including Luke.

Luke …

The dream called to her. It would be so much easier to fall back into it than to face this black reality. Dear God …a leg. How was she supposed to face life with one leg? “You’ve got some nerve,” she snapped.

Molly inspected the writing on the ice cream cup, apparently finding the carton’s tiny print of great interest. Ah, well …The girl had appeared out of nowhere, disrupting Beth Anne’s life nearly as much as the loss of a leg, but Molly’s skills as a physical therapist had also given Beth Anne the will to live, the will to fight the horrible cancer. How could she deny Molly the one thing she most desired? Beth Anne shoved the tray away with the food untouched. Pain does terrible things to appetite. Then she pushed the button to raise the head of her bed until she could look Molly full in the face. “Have you considered Tadd?”

“Your son?”

“He’s an only child. He’s used to having things pretty much his way. He’s also very protective of Skookum Ranch.”

Molly raised one hand to her head in a salute. “No problem. Give me some time and I’ll win him over.”

Win him over? That’s all they needed. Then who would be on Beth Anne’s side? Where would the loyalties lie when the full truth was finally released? “Okay,” Beth Anne murmured. “Your secret is safe with me.”

Molly let out a long sigh.

“But . . .”

Molly stiffened, staring at Beth Anne as if her entire life depended on the next words. Perhaps it did.

“I don’t want to make this more difficult for you,” Beth Anne said. “But you have to promise that you will eventually tell Luke everything.”

Molly’s eyes widened. “Everything?”

“Everything.”

“Let me get this straight. You want me to tell Luke?”

“Yes.”

Molly’s gaze dropped to the floor as if she were looking into the future, seeing if she could meet the challenge. Then she abruptly straightened her shoulders. “When?”

“When the time is right.”

“But how will I know?”

“You’ll know.”

Molly groaned and rose to her feet, pacing the room like an expectant mountain lion.

Beth Anne swallowed the burn of nausea as she waited Molly’s answer. She hated the antiseptic smell of the hospital, hated the sounds even worse—the echo of clicking feet in the hall, the murmur of lowered voices and cries of pain, the constant hum of heaters and fans. She fought off a wave of panic. Perhaps she shouldn’t have insisted on Luke returning to Skookum Ranch. The room seemed empty without him, and Lord help her, but she felt vulnerable for the first time since her wedding day.

“Okay.” Molly’s voice was back to her usual chipper tone, but the word was said with the firmness of one who had thought the matter through.

Beth Anne closed her eyes. In spite of the secret, she felt very close to the young woman. But how would Luke react to the girl’s revelation? Beth Anne hadn’t really dealt with it herself. The loss of a leg was all she could manage at this point. Perhaps she was in denial, but how big a deal could that be in the bigger scheme of things? An overwhelming tiredness swept over her. She lowered the bed and gave herself to the painkiller. Molly’s hands felt warm as they adjusted the sheets. I should say something, give the girl some kind of apology. But no words came.

The dream was calling her away from the pain and fear. It was calling her back to Skookum, back to the man she could never get enough of, back to the place where she could sit in a saddle with two whole legs and ride beside her beloved husband across endless trails of high prairie and mountain forests. She could smell the warm scent of pine and the sweet aroma of wild lilacs. She could hear the plod of the horse’s hooves, the clear song of the warbler—

The rude wail of ambulance sirens jerked her from the dream. For a moment she considered the secret. Tomorrow. Tomorrow will be soon enough to think about the future.

Then she sank into a deep sleep, giving herself entirely to the dream.